Anyone watching The X Factor last Saturday night would have seen one of the contestants go down on bended knee to ask his girlfriend to marry him after they had just sang their hearts out in front of the judges. The couple have been together six whole months which is, for some reason, round about the time when some people decide to make a life long commitment to each other, usually involving an engagement ring or moving in together. Six months is nothing in a relationship, especially when you’re talking about being together for ever. Six months means you probably don’t know the other person as well as you think you do, seeing as how you’ve both been on your best behaviour initially and showing off your best side. In six months it’s very unlikely you’ve had to face a crisis that will show you if your intended has character, if you can rely on them and that they’re in your corner. In six months it’s more likely to be pure lust and being nice to each other, hearts and flowers, and planning your first holiday together. But it wasn’t the short time that this particular couple have been together that bothered me, it was the grand gesture.
Instead of making it a special occasion with maybe just the two of them, this guy made sure it was on national television in front of millions of people, and there’s a reason for that. Not only would it have been difficult for his girlfriend to refuse, but it’s a reason to be noticed, to be seen as romantic, committed and a thoroughly nice guy. Most grand gestures are for the rest of the world to see, not for the recipient. Grand gestures are when a guy sends flowers to where his partner works (usually as an apology) so that her work place can see how much he loves her and how happy they are. Or booking a romantic weekend away but making sure everyone knows on every social media platform. Grand gestures are when a relationship is failing and as a last ditch attempt he or she will book an expensive holiday for them both, buy a puppy or even book a wedding. Grand gestures are when there’s a marriage proposal in a crowded restaurant, on a busy beach, at a football match or anywhere where there is a lot of people to witness it. With so much pressure it’s unlikely that the recipient will refuse, even though they might have doubts.
Some grand gestures are made to force a commitment, while others are a genuine way of trying to tell their partners how much they love them. Only the recipient would know which is which. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not averse to the odd grand gesture, if it’s done for the right reasons it’s great.
Just hope that any future husband of mine doesn’t think a trip to see the illuminations at Blackpool is the right place to propose.