A Good Friend These Days Is Hard To Find.

We all need friends and it’s easier to make them when you’re younger, than it is when you’re older.At school is easy,although as a teenager many people find that they switch to other groups and possibly leave a couple of friends behind.Having moved around a lot in my late teens/early twenties I found it really easy to make friends.If I moved to a new town I usually got a job in a bar a couple of nights a week so I soon had a new set of friends,and when it was time to move on I probably only kept in touch with one or two.
Then there’s workplace friends,who to be honest,you don’t really see outside of work but are happy enough to see them on a (near) daily basis.These are the people who make the workplace a lot more bearable with banter/bitching/ and who are there for us when we’re having a bad day at the office.But like I said,once you’re older it’s a lot harder to find friends,especially in a big city.
Having moved to a city just outside Manchester just over 3 years ago I thought it would be a lot easier to find friends than it has been.As a woman in her mid fifties this has proved to be a lot harder than any other time.I’ve joined the Meet -Up groups but although I’ve tried to go along to a few I’ve found that work gets in the way as my job is not a nine-to-five and I work a couple of later shifts which narrows the options a bit.The ones I have gone to though, I’ve found that it was either too many young people or the opposite,too many older retired people who enjoyed coach trips to shopping outlets.Friendly enough,just not for me.
Another thing is if you have no young children then you don’t get involved in the community.There’s no hanging around at the school gates chatting to the other mums,no school fetes,PTA meetings,kids parties,having various children over for sleepovers and all the rest of it.You’re on your own.Luckily I do see a couple of long term friends on a regular basis but it’s been tricky to make new ones. But it’s not been all bad.Being on twitter and applying for a Channel 4 dating show last year made it possible to meet a new friend who I always enjoy spending time with as she lives in Manchester.
So.I’ve decided to bite the bullet and go along to see what the local W.I.has to offer.
Wish me luck.

All the Single Ladies……

I`m sure that some of you ladies out there who have come out of either marriages or long term relationships can relate to what I have to say about what happens next…….Obviously most of your friends are in couples and it`s funny how many disappear when it all goes wrong just at the time when you need `em.One minute you`re part of a gang enjoying nights out,New Years Eve celebrations and even weekends away and then the next it`s like you`ve dropped off the face of the earth as no-one invites you out now that you`re not in a  couple.As hurtful as this is you soon realise that some of your ex`s friends begin to take a bit of an interest in you…..for all the wrong reasons.Suddenly one of them is taking his dog for a walk past your house and knocking on your door “to see if you`re ok”.Funny that.His wife hasn`t knocked on your door to see if you`re ok and she`s supposedly a good friend. Another doesn`t speak or even give you eye contact when you see him out and about with his wife yet when he comes into the pub and you`re there with a couple of friends, he`s all over you like a rash.I always find that when the man doesn`t even give you eye contact when he sees you it`s a good sign that something`s been said at home about you….and his wife doesn`t like it.All of a sudden this group of people who were quite happy with your company for years don`t want to know as now you`re seen as a threat.
Older women especially I would imagine would be worried more than younger ones as it`s a dangerous time. A man always likes to think he`s “still got it” especially if he`s having a mid life crisis.Throw in the fact that now the kids have gone maybe this particular couple realise that they don`t really have anything in common or even particularly like each other but there`s a lot at stake.The house is paid for. they live a comfortable life they both have a nice car, holidays abroad so the last thing she needs is you breaking up with your partner and throwing yourself at her husband. Because it will all be your fault you know that don`t you? He`ll be blameless it will be you trying to wreck their marriage (christ you wouldn`t touch him with a barge pole) how dare you walk around looking good when she can`t be bothered because she doesn`t think she has to try anymore. A lot of women are like that though,once they get married they have the mentality of just not bothering making the effort as they already have a man and let`s face it some men probably do the same.And there`s you….lost a bit of weight,happy,wearing nice clothes….oh dear this isn`t going to go down well at all. Just have a big red letter S on your forehead and have done with it.But it`s surprising how many women find out after a break-up who there real friends are. And let me tell you,there`s always some surprises…….