Goodbye To Youth, It Was Nice Knowing You…

Last week I went on a date.Coffee of course, you know the script by now.I`d chatted to “L” a couple of times on the phone and I liked the fact that he was really easy to chat to so I was looking forward to this one.Yes he had a dodgy hairstyle but that can easily be fixed, as can dress sense so off I went.
As I got to our meeting place I saw an old man and my heart seemed to stop for a second.It was L.My first thought was to turn around and txt with some bizarre excuse as to why I couldn`t make it but decided against it as at least he`d made the effort and turned up.He was 57 yrs old and was smartly dressed but all the time I was thinking “I`n too young for this”.During coffee he never shut up about his childhood, exes,his job and I put it down to nerves and when I was asked the usual questions he started talking before I`d finished. Not a problem as I`d already decided I wasn`t going to see him again, but it got me thinking.
This is it now for me.It`s been like a slap in the face as I realise that the men my age are mostly old in outlook and just want someone to go on holiday with.A companion in other words.L said it himself that he was just looking for someone to “do stuff with”.I now have to come to terms with the fact I am never going to look at someone and think yeah….let`s rip your clothes off.And that believe it or not is quite upsetting.
I don`t want to hear from people (usually married) “Oh why do you even care about that?” I`ll tell you why.I don`t want to think that I`m never going to have that heart lifting moment when you spend time with someone who you can`t get enough of, butterflies when you see them, nights on the town, making endless plans and just the thought of them puts a smile on your face.That I believe now, is never going to happen again.I`ve been on enough dates to know the score.
Older people like to think that they`re not getting older but of course they are, the mirror and our bodies tell us that, but I for one want more than just a companion and I can`t tell you how it feels to think I`ll probably never lust after anyone again….

And my deal-breaker is……..

To say I`ve had my eyes opened while I`ve been on POF is a bit of an understatement but now and again I still get a bit of a shock at how ignorant some guys still are.I was chatting with someone last night (well two actually I was on a roll) and we were getting on really well. A bit of banter, couple of compliments thrown in,until we got to the part where I was asked do I live alone or do any of my kids live with me.Because “G” seemed like a nice guy I told him that I lived with my gorgeous gay friend “R”,huge mistake.His reply was unbelievable, “What are you doing living with a poofter?” I felt sick. “Sorry? What do you mean?” “Seriously, what are you doing living with a poofter? Their sort need a good kicking.” Oh my god I couldn`t breathe.”You`re showing your age there G, it`s a good job they haven`t brought back hanging.” “Hanging`s too good for `em it`s disgusting”. My last reply before he was blocked was “You ignorant,nasty homophobic twat…bet you`ve had some good holidays in Thailand with those ladyboys.”
The fact that he`d used such an old-fashioned word said it all. I remember growing up in a time when no-one knew anyone who was openly gay as it had only been a few years before when it was against the law so if your Auntie`s second cousin twice removed actually knew someone who was gay you can bet your life that that person was in prison.Let`s fast-forward to the 21st century shall we and what`s the betting that all these old horrible men have at least one family member who is gay.,what do they do? Do they ignore them at family parties and say it`s just a phase?Because they can`t be openly abusive to them can they, in this day and age?I hope they sit there seething, muttering under there breath but unfortunately for me this isn`t the first time I`ve had that reaction from someone.
One guy I was chatting to asked me who I lived with and so I told him. No reply so I messaged him. “You`ve gone a bit quiet?” After a while I got a response “Not sure how I feel about that”. Oh this one was going to be interesting. ” Not sure I know what you mean?” “Well I suppose it`s ok. I have a friend who has a friend who knows someone who is gay.” I couldn`t believe it. “Are you saying you don`t actually know anyone yourself?” “No.” Now guys like him seem to think if they walk in that R will pounce on him, all I can say to that is if you`ve got tattoos, wearing a wife-beater vest, tracky bottoms, front tooth missing then yes you take your chances.But I`m sure you`ll be quite safe because believe it or not gay guys are not the dirty desperate disease-ridden low-life that you seem to think they are. On the other hand maybe some of these dinosaurs think that R and I have something going on? Let me clarify we are NOT Marcus and Maria off Corrie.I like to think we`re more like Will and Grace…..And as for the guys who like to go to Thailand for the exotic nightlife, (interestingly enough usually guys my age) they all emphatically say that they are NOT GAY. I beg to differ because if that was the case you would be with a Thai GIRL. The fact they are ladyboys and are perceived as women with all the affectations of women is like some sort of smoke and mirrors trick but the hard fact is they still have that vital piece of equipment between their legs which is the attraction for you men.But you hide behind ladyboys hoping the world sees your girlfriend as female and I`ll bet you`re not exactly encouraging her to have the full gender re-assignement are you? Didn`t think so…….let`s hope hubby`s got me a wristband for Manchester Pride.