I’m Mandy. Fly Me.

As I mentioned right at the start when I first started on POF I did a bit of research, purely to give me an idea of what my competition’s profiles were and therefore able to make sure mine was nothing like anyone else’s. Not that it would have made any difference as I’m sure a lot of guys just look at your picture and decide there and then. A lot of the women were saying things very similar to a lot of guys. Looking for someone genuine, loyal, trustworthy,(for god’s sake!!) and that was about it but there are quite a few women who speak with forked tongue as their user name and pictures say one thing and their profile says something else. Sexy Soo had pics of herself (these are women in their 50’s remember) in a few provocative poses wearing a too short/tight dress and doing that pose that Denise Welch does, leaning forward so that her boobs are nearly falling out but her profile said “Please don’t get in touch if you’re after sex  as I am looking for a meaningful relationship” or Naughty Nikki lying on her bed flashing her knickers and saying “I am not into one night stands please don’t be rude enough to ask me!” and there were quite a few who described themselves as “sassy,witty, glamorous” and “blonde, bubbly, cheeky” but I find the ones who describe themselves as “wild and wacky. I’m just a crazy gal” to be the worst offenders because they’re usually not. One lady even  said “Love walking on the beach (yes  the ladies are also guilty of this) I’m crazy all my friends think so! If money and space were no problem I would love to own some cows as pets. See what did I say about me? I’m just a crazy lady!!” I wouldn’t say that love, you’re actually just an idiot. But I did feel a bit sorry for this lady.
“Are you refined? What I want is a man who smells nice. has a good sense of humour, is intelligent and doesn’t bore me to death”. Oh dear, you’re on Plenty of Frogs it’s not the personals in The Guardian and let me tell you that you will never ever find him, but this guy says it all on his profile.
Please don`t send any pics semi-naked in your Primark underwear in front of your Ikea wardrobes, or looking like Miss Whiplash or pics sprawled across your Vauxhall Tigre in your onesie and PLEASE no pics from 10 years ago. I have noticed that some women on here twist the truth. Homemaker=unemployed. Likes a drink=alcoholic. A few extra pounds=25 stone.Loves the gym=with the remote watching Jeremy Kyle. Happy go lucky=nut job. Pictures from 10 years ago=looks like Ann Widdicombe. Separated=still seeing the ex. Loves all types of music= a fan of Susan Boyle and line dancing. Bubbly and loves life=still have the jacket with the straps at the back. Like to mingle and meet new friends = nosey cow. Longing for a knight in shining armour= a kickboxer because my ex is a psycho.”
My advice to these sexy ladies? If the puppies aren’t for sale, don’t put them in the shop window. But apparently a few of them call themselves yummy mummy, milf, princess, and a lot use that Marilyn Monroe quote, you know the one, where it says something like “If you can’t handle me at my worst, etc”.
Changing the subject a bit it’s been a bit of a slow week on POF for me, everyone’s enjoying the sunshine on their barges or walking in the Dales which is fair enough, I’m sure I#ll hear  from the ones who’ve got sun-stroke…….