Bye Felicia.

Earlier this week I joined a Facebook group for women over 50, hoping I’d maybe have some stimulating conversation and possibly meeting up for drinks or whatever with a couple of them who live in Manchester. Within 24 hours I’d had a message from admin because I’d upset someone with a comment I’d made to them, so I realised that yet again, this group was not for me. Someone had posted asking where there any good men left at our age? So I replied that in my experience of dating them that yes there are, but there are different problems dating older guys so I gave a quick summary.

Doris from the stone age didn’t like it.

She then posted her own post saying that someone was “men-bashing” and as she herself had been married to Burt for 100 years I was talking bollocks. Bring it on Doris, bring it on. I applaud women who have been married forever as I’m sure that a lot of hard work has gone into that but for a lot of us life has turned out to be a bit different for whatever reason and let’s not forget nobody gets married to get divorced, or expect to be widowed. So Doris got a blistering reply and obviously then reported me after deleting her post and that was that. But that’s ok because I have joined these sort of groups before and it always turns out the same, because a lot of the women seem to be retired some of them seem to have a lot of time on their hands and sit on Facebook all day. Every single day is the same.

“Morning everyone, it’s cold here in Bristol”.

“Morning Claire, it’s cold here in Edinburgh but I’ve got the kettle on.”

“Oooh are you having biscuits?” says Gladys in Kent.

“On my third cuppa already” replies Sue in Portsmouth.

And then there will be at least a hundred other women replying saying something very similar.

Can you see my problem? I have eyes, windows and a tv to watch the weather forecast. I can see for myself what the weather is like as I set out for work, I don’t need a running commentary about tea, biscuits and the state of the garden. But it’s not just that, there will be posts about “What were your favourite sweets as a child?” or “Does anyone remember what their school uniform was like?”  I appreciate that for a lot of women these groups are great, a way of communicating and maybe making a couple of new friends but unfortunately it’s not for me. Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s hard being this fabulous.

Bye Felicia.

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Excuse Me??

This time last year I had such a good holiday in Ibiza, on my own, that I decided to do it again and because I’d left it last minute to book I was pretty limited on what was available, so I ended up staying in the same hotel as last year and as usual that meant my single room was overlooking the bins/car park. Not really a problem as I didn’t intend to spend much time in it apart from sleeping, just annoying as this seems to happen every time I go anywhere on my own. Of course there were different people on holiday this time, thankfully no stalker, but there is one thing that stands out on this holiday that I won’t forget.

It wasn’t the group of four lads who had come away on a lads holiday and obviously some time after the holiday had been booked one of them had got himself a girlfriend and she’d ended up tagging along.

It wasn’t watching the hotel cat run off with one of the parrots halfway through the parrot show.

It wasn’t listening to a group of women over 40 who were absolutely slagging off one of their group, whilst giving me pitying looks that I had come on holiday alone.

It wasn’t the man who was leaning across my table for one while he talked to someone he knew, knowing that he was totally blocking my view until I had to ask him to move, which he wasn’t happy about.

It wasn’t the 25 older Spanish women who arrived on my last day who were a breath of fresh air as they insisted on line dancing to most of the songs being played by the pool.

It wasn’t even overhearing a woman telling a group of people  ” I couldn’t eat my salad tonight it had too many alopecia.”  That must be a new name for jalapenos.

No it wasn’t any of those things, it was when I was out one evening, sat alone on the terrace of a bar when a young woman came out for a cigarette and noticing I was alone she asked could she sit at my table while she smoked. We started chatting and a woman sat to the left of me with her husband decided she’d join in the conversation telling us that she was 64 yrs old with a daughter of 45 and a grandson of 25. We both just looked at her and said “Right” before carrying on our conversation before we were interrupted, with the older woman muttering about rude people. A couple of minutes later the young woman asked had I come on holiday with someone?  Hearing that the older woman turned to me and said ” Yes, we were wondering that, why have you come on holiday on your own?”  Oh I see, you’ve clearly been talking about me then so it’s time you were put in your place love.

“It should have been my honeymoon.”

That shut her up.

It doesn’t bother me going on holiday on my own, but it bothers other people, especially older people.  The women hold on to their partners that little bit tighter and don’t even give me eye contact never mind a “Hello” in case I get ideas about running off with their Fred (Fred should be so lucky) but that’s ok. What is NOT ok is to be so rude and to ask someone WHY they are on holiday alone so that woman deserved the answer she got.

No wonder my ears were burning all week, and I thought it was sunburn.

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