Wedding Season.

As wedding season approaches and everyone gets their invite to celebrate the wedding of a friend or family member, I wonder how many people will actually be asked not to attend an ex’s wedding due to the insecurity of the bride/bridegroom?

Surely I can’t be the only one this has happened to but that’s another story.

Although I love a good wedding I’m always curious as to what happens after, as believe it or not I have seen more than one woman transform herself from a gorgeous glamorous creature, to looking like she wouldn’t look out of place on one of the benefits programmes on Channel 5. It’s not just women who are guilty of this transformation of course, men are just as bad and it would seem that people who do this are guilty of the same thing. Complacency. They’ve got what/who they wanted, so they stop putting the effort in, mistakenly thinking that now they’re married they can stop trying so hard. A woman might stop making such an effort with her hair and make up, spend a lot of time in pyjamas and housecoat at weekends thinking that it’s ok, she can relax a bit. Instead of doing the things they used to do/places they used to go, a guy might be more than happy to spend a lot more time with his football mates. Instead of spending most Saturday nights out with friends or enjoying the odd weekend away it’s suddenly become having a takeaway slobbing about in front of the tv, putting weight on as neither of them goes to the gym anymore as what’s the point? Their partner doesn’t mind that they’ve lost muscle tone, gone flabby and spends most of their time on social media barely looking up when spoken to. Their partner doesn’t mind that date nights don’t happen anymore or that they rarely seem to go anywhere now. Their partner doesn’t mind that the lads have booked him on that weekend away when they should have been visiting her family. They’re married, they love each other. End of.

For a lot of people getting married or moving in together signals an end to trying. Trying to keep that man or woman interested in the person they first met. The glittering funny woman who always looked fabulous and had a story to tell. The guy who could talk you through how to deal with the office bully while you were both relaxing at that spa weekend. It’s not about being dressed up to the nines all the time with full slap on but it is about making the effort. Talk to each other, remember why you got together, not to mention date nights. Sounds like hard work? You’re right, it is but so many people make the mistake of thinking they don’t need to try anymore.

You know what the biggest killer of relationships is? It’s not infidelity, it’s apathy. True story.

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What I Did On My Holidays

Not a lot, but that was supposed to be the whole point, so it did mean that I could indulge in one of my favourite things to do, which is people watching. In a large, busy hotel I had plenty to watch and sad to say, a few of the usual stereotypes were in evidence as they are in any all inclusive hotel.

You’re always going to get the mums and dads who, having been high-fived by one of the animation team, now think that they’re best mates and won’t leave Jose/Giuseppe/Lucy alone, even pushing their own kids out of the way to get a photo taken with their new bestie. Alternatively you always get that one kid who goes and follows the team everywhere, signing up for everything and not making friends with any of the other kids as they’re too busy stalking.

I watched parents with questionable parenting skills in the restaurant, allowing a child to watch a dvd on a portable player, or playing computer games, while everyone on the table is having dinner, and watched as mum or dad even fed the child instead of making the 4/5/6 year old feed themselves. God forbid there’s any interaction and learning  table manners.

I watched as a large group of Germans dragged a number of sunbeds and every available parasol to make their own version of Ocean Beach, playing loud music on their own sound system which was competing with the thousand decibels being played out by the hotel sound system, while parading around with a bottle of vodka bought in the local supermarket. In an all inclusive hotel.

I watched as a young dad gave his two year old son a glass full of orange juice, and as he left him for a moment to get his own drink, the little boy dropped the glass spilling the drink everywhere. I watched as a quick thinking cleaner working nearby, reached out and grabbed the boy by the hood of his beach towel stopping him from slipping and falling on the glass. And I watched as the dad turned around just at that moment and glared at the cleaner, instead of thanking her for saving his son from having a nasty accident.

I watched too many young girls and guys thinking they were super hot, probably thinking they should be on Love Island, parading around, but with the personality of a cobweb.

I watched as impatient people waited for the chains to be unlocked on the sunbeds in the morning. which would only happen when the cleaners had finished sweeping and cleaning around the pool so it was a nicer environment to sunbathe in. One morning, someone figured out how to get the sunbeds off with the chains still on and I’m ashamed to say it was a British person who then proceeded to take the sunbeds off while the cleaners begged him to wait for five minutes while they finished their job.

I’ve watched while a man has wanted me and my daughter to leave a table outside as he insisted he have it as he had a baby in a pram even though he was with a party of six or seven of them and our table could only seat four (at a push).

But I didn’t see everything.

On the last morning of the holiday, I went and reserved our sunbeds by the pool as we weren’t getting picked up until about 6 o’clock. We probably spent more time than we should having breakfast and packing our stuff ready to go home, so when we finally made it to the sunbeds our towels were gone and two people were using the beds. On a mission to find the towels I saw a manager walking around and asked her where they were likely to be. She sent me to the bar by the pool, who subsequently sent me to reception, and they sent me to the lifeguard who didn’t understand a word I said. So I didn’t see who swiped the towels, and I never got them back, so needless to say they’re probably getting rented out by the hotel to people who’ve had the same thing happen to them.

What can I say, I might  have been distracted by one of the fitties parading around in his trunks at the time it happened.

Maybe.

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