Rumour Has It.

Women are good at a many things but one of the things that they are really really good at is bringing other women down, especially if they see that you’re doing well. Forget the sisterhood, all bets are off if you dare to try to stand out from the rest of the flock for whatever reason, as this is when you find out who the wolves in sheep’s clothing are. The post that went viral of Kerry Whittaker, the Asda checkout girl who was slated by other women for wearing make up reminded me again of how nasty some women are.

When I first started blogging and posting on Twitter I was anonymous, only a few people knew who I was and one of them was happy to retweet any blogs I posted as I obviously wasn’t a threat to her at the time. I’d been really supportive of any of the things she’d been doing which included a couple of TV appearances on her part, a blog she was also doing, and generally just trying to be a good friend. This changed when I got on First Dates. By now I’d realised that there was no point being anonymous as the guys I date have only just discovered Facebook never mind Twitter so I was quite safe that none of them would read it. It was now time for me to have the support but unfortunately she was too busy to watch First Dates, and also the retweets of my blog suddenly stopped and not long after all contact stopped.

But she wasn’t the only one.

I went into work the next day and more than one woman dropped her eyes as she walked past me rather than say “Hello” so I knew they’d seen it. The same women who I’d been laughing and joking with the day before but obviously overnight I’d grown two heads. Then there was the friend who didn’t get back to me at all after watching the episode until three weeks later as she’d been “too busy” and  another woman I know didn’t speak to me for six months. Then there was the one who had a conversation with everyone else who had watched it but didn’t mention it to me at all. The men on the other hand were great, they wanted to know all about it and asked loads of questions which I was more than happy to answer (unless it was someone who never ever spoke to me usually so don’t start now). So, as well as two heads I’m guilty of other things. Apparently.

Rumour has it that I ‘ve changed. Well I damn well hope so as life changes all the time which means you have to change with it. It’s called evolving. When someone says that about you it usually means that you are doing something they don’t like.

Rumour has it that I think I’m all that as I wear full make up every day and it usually comes from women the same age who don’t make the effort. Listen love, try saying that to Joan Collins.

Rumour has it that at my age I shouldn’t be on dating sites for god’s sake I should just give up and get a cat, stop chasing men and accept growing old gracefully. The irony in this is that the women who say this are usually married or in a relationship.

Rumour has it that I love myself as I’ve been on TV. Of course I do, I’m Jacqui Wright bitches.

Sometimes things happen in life that changes everything. That happened to me five years ago when I ended up in a place I wasn’t supposed to be so I had to make the best of it. This included starting to date again which led to so many other things as we all know and now some people don’t like it. I don’t remember seeing many of you there when life wasn’t so good though but that’s ok.

But the funny thing is that some of these women who’ve had to plenty to say, been unsupportive, ignored me for whatever reason, will declare that they are my best friend or say that we work together/went to school together or stood at the same bus stop for five minutes if they ever met anyone who said they knew me. Women are always so quick to knock other women down and some of the worst are always bitter middle aged women, but that’s a whole other post.

True story.

 

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Every Girl Loves A Grand Gesture.

Anyone watching The X Factor last Saturday night would have seen one of the contestants go down on bended knee to ask his girlfriend to marry him after they had just sang their hearts out in front of the judges. The couple have been together six whole months which is, for some reason, round about the time when some people  decide to make a life long commitment to each other, usually involving an engagement ring or moving in together. Six months is nothing in a relationship, especially when you’re talking about being together for ever. Six months means you probably don’t know the other person as well as you think you do, seeing as how you’ve both been on your best behaviour initially and showing off your best side. In six months it’s very unlikely you’ve had to face a crisis that will show you if your intended has character, if you can rely on them and that they’re in your corner.  In six months it’s more likely to be pure lust and being nice to each other, hearts and flowers, and planning your first holiday together. But it wasn’t the short time that this particular couple have been together that bothered me, it was the grand gesture.

Instead of making it a special occasion with maybe just the two of them, this guy made sure it was on national television in front of millions of people, and there’s a reason for that. Not only would it have been difficult for his girlfriend to refuse, but it’s a reason to be noticed, to be seen as romantic, committed and a thoroughly nice guy. Most grand gestures are for the rest of the world to see, not for the recipient. Grand gestures are when a guy sends flowers to where his partner works (usually as an apology) so that her work place can see how much he loves her and how happy they are. Or booking a romantic weekend away but making sure everyone knows on every social media platform. Grand gestures are when a relationship is failing and as a last ditch attempt he or she will book an expensive holiday for them both, buy a puppy or even book a wedding. Grand gestures are when there’s a marriage proposal in a crowded restaurant, on a busy beach, at a football match or anywhere where there is a lot of people to witness it. With so much pressure it’s unlikely that  the recipient will refuse, even though they might have doubts.

Some grand gestures are made to force a commitment, while others are a genuine way of trying to tell their partners how much they love them. Only the recipient would know which is which. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not averse to the odd grand gesture, if it’s done for the right reasons it’s great.

Just hope that any future husband of mine  doesn’t think a trip to see the illuminations at Blackpool is the right place to propose.

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It’s Not Me It’s You.

When you’ve been single for a while (ok, a long time) after a while you start to think that maybe, just maybe, it could be that the problem is you. Perhaps being too chatty on dates, or too quiet, wearing the wrong outfit, being too loud, not really giving someone a chance, not really listening, you can focus on any number of things but then I think back to some of the dates I’ve been on.

To the guys who can’t decide where to meet (most of them) let me tell you that a woman wants a man to take charge so it’s a bit of a turn off when I’m making all the arrangements for a first date.

To the guys who would rather I went to meet them at their local pub on a first date because they get a nosebleed if they go out of their comfort zone, let me tell you that already, you’re not making me feel that I’m worth the effort.

To the homophobic, ignorant, vile narrow minded guys who say they don’t understand how I could live with a gay man, and I probably won’t find anyone because of it, there are no words.

To the guys who say I would have been perfect if I was three inches taller/blonde hair/thinner/younger I say have you looked in a mirror lately because that moisturiser isn’t working.

To the guys who assume that there will be sex on the first date so you’ve booked a hotel room, you’ll never know how good it could have been.

To the guys who’ve apparently got in a relationship in the two days between organising a date with me and meeting up, I hope she’s got a couple of kids you didn’t know about.

To the guys who post the (only) picture on their profile that’s a few years old, please don’t. There’s not always a first aider around when we meet and I nearly die from shock when I see that you’ve lost all your hair and are three stone heavier.

To the guys who seem up for a laugh and then turn into a grumpy old man who complains about everything from the price of the parking to the price of a coffee on a date, let me tell you, it makes you unattractive.

To the guys who say they’re not really looking for someone then text/message every other minute asking how you are, what are you doing, when are you seeing them again, sort your head out.

To all the young guys who ask do I have a problem with the age gap? The answer is yes, please don’t be offended but I’ve probably got tights older than you.

To all the guys who’ve shown me pics and videos on our date of their now deceased partner, or new car, golf clubs, and even grandkids, it was probably my yawning that put you off.

And to the guy who forgot my name on a date on national television. Well, we all know the answer to that one.

So after careful consideration and realising that not every one is on the same page, I’ve come to a conclusion.

It’s not me, it’s you.

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