The Blind Date.

A few weeks ago I went to a fabulous restaurant for dinner on a blind date paid for by a national newspaper. Both of us had been matched by someone who was running a feature about older daters and of course I was looking forward to it, as anyone who has agreed to go on a blind date must have something about them already.

A photographer came round to my place 2 hours early and had patiently been waiting for me to get home so he could set up, but he then had to wait for me to get ready. The dress code is quite strict with photographs especially where colour is concerned so the outfit I’d originally planned to wear for the photos was considered to be too dark. White was also a non starter as were certain patterns so the end result was probably the only outfit we could use,(didn’t wear it on the date though) so luckily it turned out alright.

It’s always strange meeting someone on a blind date but I like the fact I don’t know anything about them, there’s been no interaction so I have no expectations. Colin was the perfect gentleman, was easy to get on with and had plenty to say, although that didn’t seem to stop him drinking most of the wine. He told me a couple of things that made me think he was  probably not for me but he was in fact good company but it wasn’t long before he made it quite clear that he liked me, and I mean REALLY liked me, so much so that after telling him I was off to Ibiza on holiday that coming weekend he said that he could probably come out there himself and where was it I was staying? After laughing it off and saying he was joking (he so wasn’t) he decided to try and show off by talking Spanish to the Italian waiters who obviously couldn’t understand him. On that note we left the restaurant and made our way to Piccadilly Gardens.

Once outside Colin tried to link me, then he was rubbing my back, pawing at me and generally trying to pull me close to him until I told him to stop it. Once we got to my bus stop he insisted on staying with me until the bus came and thought it would be an opportunity to pull me close to him even though he says in his interview he knew I was uncomfortable with it. He gave me his number (no intention of using it) and that was that. The journalist doing the feature rang both of us to ask how we got on a couple of days later and she mentioned that Colin had said I hadn’t been in touch.

Two days and Colin said I hadn’t been in touch.

I told her all about the date and about how he was way too keen and how off putting it is and she agreed before saying “Why don’t you just text him to thank him for the date?” But I did that on the night, he knows, I don’t want to encourage him, I know EXACTLY what will happen. “To be polite”, she said. Hang on a minute, I’ve done my bit, I’ve been polite enough putting up with everything that happened on the way back to the bus stop, Colin’s had a good night let’s just leave it. “Just be polite” so I messaged him.

What a mistake that was.

I was bombarded with messages every day while I was on holiday, I didn’t even reply to most of them but that didn’t stop him. He wanted to know which hotel I was in, he could come over and stay, (this is the problem with retired guys too much time on their hands) we were going to have such a good time, apparently. This after just ONE DATE. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, I’ve been on enough dates to know when something’s not right. Because I didn’t reply the messages stopped apart from Thursday mornings when I’d get told who was in this week’s feature of Blind Date in the paper.

Until today.

Today it was our turn to be in the paper with our blind date and I think some clarification is needed to explain the difference between a “good date” and a “good date” where you want to see someone again.

1, I didn’t fancy him, if I did that would have gone a long way to wanting to see him again.

2. The fact you have something in common doesn’t mean it’s going anywhere. In our case our common interest (apparently) was the fact he lived in Spain doing dodgy dealings and I lived in Gibraltar at a completely different time drinking too much vodka that put me off for life. Enough to ride off into the sunset?

3. Just because we’re older doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be as picky. I’m still working, most guys I date are retired which means that they will be sulking as I don’t have the time they need to be at their beck and call and even though they’ll all say they love the fact I have my own life they don’t like it at all.

4. People can lose their confidence when it comes to dating and I understand that, being too keen can mean they’ve forgotten what the rules are and if that’s the case then it’s fine, but don’t push it when someone says “No” that’s just being an idiot.

5. When you’ve been dating a while you’ve been on enough dates to know the difference between a “good date”and one that means you can’t wait to see them again. How many people do you see on First Dates who after the date say they want to see each other again but then don’t?

6. Chemistry. End of.

I had a nice time, we had a good date but it wasn’t enough, just couldn’t see myself with him no matter how hard I tried and a goddess won’t settle for second best. To add insult to injury after I’d been on the blind date when I got off the bus near home I crossed  the road, tripped, and fell head first along the pavement which resulted in a damaged knee ligament.

No Colin. you weren’t worth that.

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So Here’s To You Mrs Robinson

On Monday evening I had a chat with a journalist who was looking for older women to talk about sex in later life. I’d explained that I couldn’t really answer that as I was having trouble persuading guys to meet up for a coffee in Manchester, never mind anyone’s bedroom. “That’s ok, we can talk about love, libido and desires.” So that’s what we talked about and after having a photo shoot done on Wednesday morning, the article was featured in the Femail section of the Daily Mail on Thursday, not only using myself but other ladies who seemed to be rather enjoying themselves in later life and who can blame them. It’s probably one of the last taboos that older people still have sex but look at this way if everyone thinks in their head that they’re younger than they actually are, it should be no surprise.

What any older woman who’s online dating will tell you though is that they receive LOTS of messages and attention from much younger guys. Guys in their 20’s who say that they can promise you a good time, have fun with, but who I think are looking for their “Mrs Robinson moment”. Nothing wrong with that and as anyone will tell you, if you’ve come out of a long term relationship/marriage with low self esteem and no confidence, of course it’s flattering to have some attention, even if it’s from guys who are young enough to be your son. That’s not for me I’m afraid but if you’re looking for some no strings attached sex, this is the perfect solution for some women. Hopefully it is just sex they’re after and not your money, although you only have to read one of the weekly “real stories” magazines to see how many women fall into the trap of believing everything they’re told. I’m sorry Mary/Sheila/Joan but you must have guessed at some point that your 25 year old Turkish waiter wasn’t really interested in you or your ageing body, especially when they mentioned marriage. No? Not even when they told you that they had a family to support so maybe you could sell your house as you seem to have no savings left. That while you’re counting down the days and hours until you see each other again, could you possibly send some money over as the deposit has to be paid on your new love nest that you’ll be sharing with his family. Or his cousin’s getting married and he said he’d pay/he and his family are moving to new premises with the family business/he wants to organise the biggest and best wedding for you as he loves you so much. Just send the money and everything will be fine.

As much as I’d like to feel sorry for these women a part of me thinks, how could you be so stupid? But then I have to remember I’ve been online dating a while which means I’m more street wise, can pick up clues and can spot a scammer a mile off. At the same time though it’s probably safe to say that most of the young guys who message us really do want that moment that was shown on the silver screen 48 years ago.

So here’s to you Mrs Robinson.

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