Blocked For Being Brutally Honest.

In some ways older dating is different, but in other ways it’s the same as everyone else except maybe for some of the expectations from a few of the guys I’ve spoken with. A blast from the past popped up a couple of weeks ago, a guy I’d been chatting with when I first started online dating (but pied me because he fancied his chances with someone else) messaged to ask why was I still single? Well Alan, that’s the 64 million dollar question but I soon found out why he himself is still single.

I know what I’m looking for and have accepted that there will probably have to be a couple of comprises, (tall dark and handsome has gone right out of the window) but Alan said that he was looking for someone that not only ticked the right boxes but would also be prepared to start a new life in Spain with him. He wants to retire there but isn’t prepared to start a new life there on his own and maybe find someone, he’s hoping that he’ll find a woman here who’s prepared to leave her family and grandchildren behind (if she has any.) Not fancying his chances there to be honest. But he’s not the only one who’s told me this, remember Colin, the 64 yr old I was grappling with at Piccadilly Gardens bus stop? He said exactly the same. He’s lived in Spain before and would like to go back but not on his own, so he’s also hoping to meet a woman who’s up for it. I understand that at our age the road ahead is shorter than the road behind so it makes sense to try and do what makes you happy. A last ditch attempt to try and start a new life somewhere while you still can, I’m all for that (I’ve done it for god’s sake) but I certainly wouldn’t expect a new partner to be on the same page. That’s a hell of a lot of pressure on someone and to be honest I like to think if a woman wanted that herself she would have gone and done it.

But it’s all about waiting to meet someone before starting the rest of your life. So many people (especially older people) won’t go on holiday/out to dinner/even the bloody cinema on their own. They’re waiting for someone before they make any plans for the future which I find is a sad way of thinking. I said the same to Alan which infuriated him. “What? So you think I’m sad?” Well yes as it happens. ” I think that people who put their life on hold while waiting to meet someone are sad, yes. You are expecting far too much from a potential partner to fulfill your life, in other words you’re relying on someone else to make you happy. That’s a lot of pressure on someone. You need to realise just because it’s your dream doesn’t mean everyone else feels the same.”

And then he blocked me. Blocked for being brutally honest.

In other news I’ve been chatting with a guy who I thought I recognised and after he’d asked me out on a date I remembered that actually, we’ve already been on a date. After I pointed this out he said he thought I looked familiar but couldn’t actually remember the date.

Not sure how I feel about that.

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Tinder Problems

I’ve not yet had one single date from being on Tinder, not one. I turned up for one but my date didn’t, only to be told (after I’d messaged him that I was at the designated meeting point and I couldn’t see him) that actually, something had come up so he’d have to check when he was free again and let me know.

Good luck with that mate.

I’ve had a few conversations, but no one I’m remotely interested in especially after the couple of happy go lucky souls I’ve been chatting with this past week. One of them “B” seemed a bit quiet, a bit shy, (fine) and during the day we didn’t communicate much as we were both at work but later on in the evening I’d get what he probably considered to be flirty texts, but in fact were inappropriate and offensive, and I told him. “Oh it’s just my sense of humour love.” And that’s the problem. A lot of older guys don’t realise we are now in the 21st century and humour acceptable in the 1970’s is now inexcusable. The same thing happened a couple of times, this guy didn’t get in touch until late evening after he’d had a couple of drinks which made him brave but totally offensive. “This isn’t working B, can’t get a decent conversation out of you until you’ve had a few drinks  and then I don’t want to hear what you have to say”. He explained that he couldn’t relax until he’d put his 11 yr old daughter who lived with him to bed.

What??

Not only had he dug his own grave with the offensive “jokes” he’d now flung himself in it telling me he had a young daughter who lived with him. I expect the guys I date to have grandchildren, not younger kids who still live with them. I’m not a single person in my 20’s/30’s or even 40’s where I would expect that, this guy is 61 and I for one am not signing up to be someone’s step mum. He also had three daughters, and we all know what happened one time I went on a date with another guy who had three daughters, he left halfway through the date after receiving a phone call from one of them for some “emergency”.  But B knew his days were numbered and in a last ditch attempt to change my mind he said ” I’ve lost weight since those profile pictures were taken.”

Game over.

Another guy I was chatting with went straight in for the kill, no messing about, no chat, just when and where should we meet but “Not on Tuesday as it’s my mother’s funeral.”  Personally I’d have thought he had other things to worry about other than chasing dates but there we go. Tinder problems. I also had the same problem on Match though, not a single date from that, just guys too lazy to message even and just send a “wink” to let you know they’re interested. Sorry guys, no effort, no reply. And let’s not forget all the matches made, only to be unmatched an hour later for whatever reason I will never know.

Tinder problems, who needs ’em.

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I Don’t Need No Bad Advice

If you’re a regular on any form of social media then you know that sometimes not everyone will agree with some of your opinions, which is not really a problem if everyone agrees to disagree but sometimes I have had unwanted, unasked for advice from so called “dating experts”. Looking at my profile you will see that I’m an older dater, a little bit past my prime, but trust me I would have given any of you younger ladies a run for your money back in the day. Anyone who’s out there dating and trying to find someone will know how hard it is no matter what age you are, and some of the problems are ones we can all relate to, but I seriously didn’t know how hard older dating is until I tried it myself.

Not so long ago I tweeted about keeping the conversation going in the time between arranging a date and actually meeting up as I’ve been let down a few times (usually the day before or on my way to meet up) when there’s not been much contact. Imagine my surprise when a so called “dating expert” tweeted back to say that there should be no contact once the date is confirmed. I beg to differ, that leaves the way open for Sexy Sally who’s profile pics are of her sprawled across her bed/car bonnet/sofa in her Primarni underwear promising all sorts of things. At least if you’re keeping up the banter with your date he might decide to at least meet up with you before he goes off into the night with S.S. This expert also advised to maybe try to meet up as soon as soon as possible (maybe the next day) if  there was a chance the guys were going to get cold feet. Listen love, you’ve probably advised all us singletons to have busy social lives so which one is it? If I and all the rest of the dating world have arranged to meet a date in a few days it’s because of work commitments/social commitments and I for one am not prepared to cancel a “stripping for beginners” class and to be fair I would hope that my date wouldn’t cancel his “how to assemble flat packed furniture” class either.

Another gem was being told not to be on any dating sites/apps on Friday and Saturday evenings so that it looks like I’m too busy being out and about. Let’s face it, older daters are very likely to be home Friday or Saturday nights baby sitting the grandkids and if single, would probably appreciate a couple of chats with other singles on dating sites. I for one enjoy being out Sundays to be honest, late afternoon until around 10/11 pm because on Sundays there seems to be more of a mixed age group around. But it all sounds too much like game playing, to be told not to be available at weekends, by someone who’s probably not going to be in my position for at least 30 years if ever. Stick to what you know love because  older dating is certainly not one of them. I’m always interested in what someone who supposedly does this for a living,  has to say to someone like me as I’m all for getting some tips and good advice, and from a couple of more well known dating experts I actually have which I’ve appreciated.

But I don’t need no bad advice.

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Dating Is Exhausting

So Valentine’s Day has been and gone and I’m still single, just like I am the rest of the year. In a way I feel sorry for all the couples who feel under pressure to declare their love for each other on a particular day of the year, I would like to think I’d get flowers, chocolates and taken out for a romantic meal any old day of the week instead of being in a restaurant on February 14th with all the other couples trying to prove to the world how happy they are. But hey, I’m single, what the hell do I know?

What I do know is that a couple of weeks ago I was getting a couple of dates lined up with a couple of guys who seemed to be just what I was looking for. One of the guys was a bit younger than me (bonus) and he seemed really keen, a lot of texting, couple of phone calls and because all us single people like to make sure we have busy lives we arranged to meet a few days later. The day arrived when we were due to meet and as I hadn’t heard from him I didn’t get ready. Later that evening I had a text saying “Sorry, been really busy with my daughter, can’t make tonight.”  No I wasn’t impressed to say the least, because since the day we’d last spoken to arrange the date there had been no contact at all. I’d text him a couple of times and he’d replied but nothing like it had been so I was a bit confused.

Confused but bloody fuming.

The same thing happened with guy number 2, really keen and once we’d arranged a date all contact ceased, radio silence, nothing but apparently he’d been “too busy”.  I for one like to keep the communication going because I’ve been here too many times when just before I’m about to meet a guy he’s text (too scared to phone) to say he’s met someone else. Let’s be realistic here, we all keep our options open and I still chat to other guys when I’ve arranged a date with someone so it doesn’t surprise me if they do the same but I do think it doesn’t help if all communication/banter stops before you meet as guys are easily distracted by bright shiny things half undressed so I say keep talking.  Having said that, guy number 1 had the audacity to text me on the morning of February 14th to ask was I free that evening? Not for you love, no.

Dating is exhausting no matter what age you are, but it really is different when you’re older as everyone is bitter and cynical. I’ve heard too many stories of an ex wife/partner who took all the money/cheated and now these guys are really wary and I’m sure some women must have the same story. They tell you that they can have their ex back any time they want, even though that ex has been married to someone else for 20 years.  They tell you that their kids prefer them (as though it’s a competition) and they tell you that no, they don’t really want to find someone but they’re under pressure from the kids but they wouldn’t mind someone to go on holiday with. They tell you that they’d prefer you to be thinner, taller/shorter and with a different colour of hair. I could say the same as I’m sat across some bald fat misogynist who still doesn’t realise we’ve entered the 21st century. Dating is exhausting, time consuming and soul destroying, You have to keep hoping that you’re going to meet someone who you just click with, someone who you want to spend more and more time with, and who feels the same about you.

And don’t even get me started on the guys who slide into your DM’s on twitter asking for “fun and cheeky stories.”

Maybe I’ve reached the limit of stones unturned.

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And Then The House Burned Down.

Last Thursday I had a date, but not with the man I had originally made plans with. The original date had messaged me and after a brief conversation had asked me out on a date, and even though we’d hardly had a conversation I loved his profile, he seemed funny, switched on and so I agreed. Sometimes this is the best way to meet someone, none of this relentless chatting which can go on for ages, then meeting up and they either have the personality of a cobweb or the sex appeal of a teabag. Or both as is sometimes the case in my ever decreasing dating puddle. Anyway, we arranged to meet and then a couple of days before the date I got a message saying could we postpone it as he had to go away on business? “Of course” I said.

Anybody online dating knows that once someone has postponed you don’t usually get the chance to meet up again because of various reasons. It could be a genuine excuse or, it could be that someone prettier, shinier, funnier has caught their eye, either way the longer you’re messaging after that it’s highly unlikely you’ll meet up, and after arranging to meet up on Sunday evening I’ve never heard from “M” again. I had a feeling this might happen so when I was having a decent conversation with “D” I agreed to meet him on Thursday, especially after he said we could meet up in the Northern Quarter as he knew his way around. At last! A guy who’s going to take charge for once, who’s not going to rely on me to sort the date out, or ask me to check the tram/train times, ask to make sure it’s a quiet bar, and even check the bloody weather.

I broke my golden rule for this one by agreeing to meet in the evening for drinks, usually it’s coffee but sometimes you have to break the rules so when we met at 7-30 I was looking forward to it. ” So where do you fancy? ” I asked. “Thought I’d leave that to you as I’ve only a vague idea of where the Northern Quarter is.”

You have got to be joking.

As we headed to a popular bar this guy didn’t shut up. At first I put it down to nerves but once inside the bar I realised that this wasn’t the case. It was all about himself, when he lived in the Caribbean for 9 years, all the celebs he’s met, the friend he’s got who’s on the Forbes 100 rich list, the yachts these “friends” have, the money and the lifestyle which tells me one thing. This guy has no money. Then there was his daughter. I know where she went to Uni, which was Bath, a city I know very well as I lived there for a while but he wasn’t interested in that. I know all about her first love, her various boyfriends, and obviously know all about her wedding which was in July earlier this year. This wedding also gave him the opportunity to talk about his ex wife and what a spiteful bitch she is even though they’ve been split up for 20 years, (not that he was the one who left the country for 9 years and didn’t see his kids in all that time). I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t like to hear stories about how awful an ex was, don’t people realise that you shouldn’t be saying this on a first date?

I tried, I really did. I mentioned living in Oz for a while but he wasn’t interested. And while he was telling me all about his mate who’s a band promoter and the bands he promotes at festivals I told him about the guy I’d met in Ibiza who’s two sons are in a band that have just been signed to Warner Brothers, he wasn’t interested. I mentioned living in Gibraltar back in the early 80’s for a while but he wasn’t interested. And all the while he was non stop talking I had an over whelming desire to just blurt out.

“And then the house burned down.”

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When You’re Just Not Fluffy Enough.

I love men who say they like strong women. As long as it’s not just lip service that is, because it’s one thing saying it and another actually dating one and one thing I’ve found in dating dinosaurs is that not a lot of older guys actually like strong women. They say they do but it’s not usually someone they can see themselves with, usually because we have an opinion and are not afraid to be vocal about it which starts as a discussion but leads into an arguement which usually ends with “What the hell do you know? ”

I know quite a lot actually, which is another thing that winds men up. Older men usually (not all by any means ) like their women to be a bit, shall we say, fluffy. They like their women to be a bit subservient, no way can their women be cleverer than them, funnier than them or earn more money than them. They want them to have to rely on a man to get things done, things like booking tickets for holidays, anything to do with the car, house, complaints, they like to feel as though they’re in charge. Which was fine back in the day when women weren’t encouraged to do much apart from staying at home and looking after the kids, but times have changed thank god and although the guys know this, they’re actually having a hard time accepting it.

So, although a man is quite happy to let me organise our date (only because he hasn’t been in Manchester for the past 15 years) after that he’s likely to expect his date to be a bit fluffy which is sometimes where it can go a bit pear shaped unless he’s a guy who sees strong women as a replacement mother. Either way it won’t end well for me even though I do try. I try to be a good date and laugh in all the right places, ask questions even though most of the time I won’t get asked any, turn up all sparkly, well dressed even though it’s usually coffee, but unfortunately most of the time I know my date will be disappointed because I’m just not fluffy enough. I’m not someone who’s going to accept certain things that older men think is acceptable.

A fluffy woman will accept spending every Saturday night at his local social club where the only wine on offer is a disgusting chardonnay served warm from a keg, but then you might be asked did you want half a lager and lime?

A fluffy woman will listen while her date tells her about kicking off in the local supermarket because the price of baked beans has risen by two pence.

A fluffy woman will sit quietly while her date tells the old old jokes that comedians told back in the 70’s, and will dismiss watching programmes like Live at the Apollo and Comedy Central  as “new alternative comedy” which he hates.

A fluffy woman will also usually have to listen while he goes on about his ex and even though she’s now married to someone else he knows he can get her back tomorrow.

A fluffy woman knows that her man likes to be listened to, fussed over and feel that he is all she needs.

A fluffy woman knows her place. She dresses for her man and not for herself, so she’ll hardly ever be seen in trousers. She works part time, has no career aspirations and would be quite happy staying at home waiting for her King to come home after a hard day at the office. But fluffy women aren’t stupid. Some have probably dumbed themselves down as they realise that’s the only way of dealing with these dinosaurs  in order to get what she wants.

I’m not fluffy, I’m strong, opinionated and vocal and to be honest I’m probably getting worse as I get older and let’s face it, as we get older everyone just wants an easier life so I can’t really blame the guys for running a mile. I want an equal partnership without feeling as though I have to stroke someone’s ego when some woman has upset them by becoming Prime Minister/President. I don’t apologise for being who I am, what you see is what you get but there must be someone somewhere who can appreciate a full time goddess.

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Don’t listen to the rumours I’m not that bad, honest.

 

 

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Don’t You Wish You Were Me?

It would seem that I’m not the only one having difficulty in finding someone (half decent) in my age group. Kirstie Alley was quoted as saying that at 64, she can’t find many guys her age that haven’t had the life sucked out of them and that’s probably one of the reasons that older women end up dating younger men and while I agree she has a point, it could certainly be one reason but it’s not the only one.

Maybe after giving it their all in a couple of long relationships/marriages they’ve no energy to start again even though they might say they want to. They might have a couple of grandchildren that keep them busy keeping them going in a routine of after school football, dance classes, or even (wait for it) have young children of their own. More over 50’s than you think have got young children and while I certainly expect an older man to have grandchildren, it’s always a surprise when a date tells me he has a young child and being the shallow creature that I am, I run for the hills. Because at this stage of my life I’d like to be someone’s priority. I want someone who can be spontaneous and be ready to go somewhere at last minute if we fancy a weekend away without worrying about childcare and if that’s selfish then I hold my hand up but that’s the way it is.

Maybe some guys want a woman to pursue him, to try and convince him that she is what he wants if only he opened his eyes, made an effort, see what he’s missing. No thanks, I did enough of that in my late teens/early twenties. I will certainly not be running after anyone now unless they’ve nicked my handbag. At this stage of the game a man (and women) should know what they want, without playing games.

Maybe it’s because most women acknowledge how fabulous we still are while men seem to define themselves by what they were back in the day. Yes I like 70’s/80’s music but it’s not the only music I listen to, but so many guys put on their dating profile how much they listen to the songs that influenced their youth. Or that they were this big noise back in the day (which is fine) but surely you’ve moved on from that. Posting very old photos on dating profiles as well as recent ones just tells me you want us all to see how great you used to look but what’s the point? That was then and this is now, keep up guys.

Maybe it’s because men (and women) have become lazy and can’t be bothered in making the effort it takes to date. I now only meet guys for coffee which is sort of like a “pre date” in which we’ll decide if we actually want to go on a date. The choice isn’t always mine, sometimes I’m not what a date expected either but an hour spent in Costa is better than a few hours over drinks, trying to make small talk while some guy shows me pics of his car/caravan/motorbike/grandchildren/allotment.  You think I’m joking?

Or maybe it’s because well, we’re just older. I’ve lost count of the dates who when I’ve raised my eyebrows at their tale of being married 3 times have replied ” I just like wedding cake alright?”  The old jokes on the lolly sticks that I have to listen to on most dates I go on. The times that a date has cancelled/not turned up/ vanished on line after being told that I live with a gay man. The married guys who message and say they’re not happy and they’re looking for someone who’s understanding. The dates who have daughters and will not think twice about taking a phone call in the middle of your date and having to rush off because  one of them needs tea bags. The widowers who are desperate to replace their wife. The guys who are bored with retirement but will only meet in the peak times they can use their free bus pass. The guys who just want a companion to go on holiday with. The guys who would be great in a pub quiz as they know everything about nothing, and the guys who say they’re looking for “anything.”

But not all guys are like this.

Some guys are witty, funny, interesting, looking for the same thing that I am, but they don’t want me or vice versa for whatever reason. That’s just the way it is in this dating game but I’ve not thrown the towel in yet.

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It’s Not Me It’s You.

When you’ve been single for a while (ok, a long time) after a while you start to think that maybe, just maybe, it could be that the problem is you. Perhaps being too chatty on dates, or too quiet, wearing the wrong outfit, being too loud, not really giving someone a chance, not really listening, you can focus on any number of things but then I think back to some of the dates I’ve been on.

To the guys who can’t decide where to meet (most of them) let me tell you that a woman wants a man to take charge so it’s a bit of a turn off when I’m making all the arrangements for a first date.

To the guys who would rather I went to meet them at their local pub on a first date because they get a nosebleed if they go out of their comfort zone, let me tell you that already, you’re not making me feel that I’m worth the effort.

To the homophobic, ignorant, vile narrow minded guys who say they don’t understand how I could live with a gay man, and I probably won’t find anyone because of it, there are no words.

To the guys who say I would have been perfect if I was three inches taller/blonde hair/thinner/younger I say have you looked in a mirror lately because that moisturiser isn’t working.

To the guys who assume that there will be sex on the first date so you’ve booked a hotel room, you’ll never know how good it could have been.

To the guys who’ve apparently got in a relationship in the two days between organising a date with me and meeting up, I hope she’s got a couple of kids you didn’t know about.

To the guys who post the (only) picture on their profile that’s a few years old, please don’t. There’s not always a first aider around when we meet and I nearly die from shock when I see that you’ve lost all your hair and are three stone heavier.

To the guys who seem up for a laugh and then turn into a grumpy old man who complains about everything from the price of the parking to the price of a coffee on a date, let me tell you, it makes you unattractive.

To the guys who say they’re not really looking for someone then text/message every other minute asking how you are, what are you doing, when are you seeing them again, sort your head out.

To all the young guys who ask do I have a problem with the age gap? The answer is yes, please don’t be offended but I’ve probably got tights older than you.

To all the guys who’ve shown me pics and videos on our date of their now deceased partner, or new car, golf clubs, and even grandkids, it was probably my yawning that put you off.

And to the guy who forgot my name on a date on national television. Well, we all know the answer to that one.

So after careful consideration and realising that not every one is on the same page, I’ve come to a conclusion.

It’s not me, it’s you.

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Walking With Dinosaurs.

I’ve learned a lot while I’ve been dating dinosaurs. While some can exceed expectations, on the whole they are creatures of habit and like to stick to a routine no matter how many times they insist that they are “spontaneous, adventurous, not ready for pipe and slippers yet”. I beg to differ. While it’s true that as we age we still think that we’re 18, for some of these guys I think it might be 15 as sometimes it feels like we’re still playing the game, 60 year old men still keeping their options open even though they’re having a good time with you. No matter how many different men try to convince you that they’re looking for their last first date they will be off in a flash if a woman under 45 years old bats an eyelash in their direction.  As I have found that the same problems keep cropping up no matter what it says on someone’s profile, here’s an idea of what it’s like for a woman over 50 to be dating.

Where to meet.

As I live quite close to the centre of Manchester it’s easy for me to ask if someone is happy to meet up there and this is when the fun starts. I have rarely had a guy take control as hardly any of them ever venture into the city as “there’s no point”. Most of the guys live not too far from Manchester but as they’ve usually never been there in the last few years they aren’t really confident about where to meet. Could I recommend anywhere that’s not too noisy, not too expensive and not too far from the tram/bus stop? Because Manchester is so busy isn’t it? A thriving, busy, metropolis of people that my date will feel out of place in. So that puts paid to the bit on their profile that says “Young at heart.” but for me that tells me already he’s not for me.

Dating Apps.

I would love to be on some of these dating apps like Bumble, Happn, Voicecandy but what’s the point when I know that there will be virtually no men my age on any of them, so let’s stick to what we know shall we guys, like messaging on Plenty of Fish until someone just disappears or maybe just wants a pen friend, then there’s OK Cupid where you get messages from a load of men who live in America/Ireland/Tymbuktu. So that puts paid to the bit on their profile that says “Willing to try something new.”

Trendy dressers.

I always get a bit nervous when someone describes themselves as a trendy dresser, as it usually means that because they get their socks from Topman it now makes them trendy. Nothing wrong with that until they turn up in a black polo neck top and black smart trousers looking like they still work as a doorman at some nightclub that got knocked down years ago, along with the obligatory gold chain and pinky ring. Or the striped shirt that’s skin tight tucked into black trousers, or even a fleece with jeans and a gelled up hairstyle that would be the envy of any 25 year old male. We’re all older, hopefully we’ve developed our own style but still dressing like we did 30 years ago, well, I’ll never get used to that.

Unsolicited Bus Timetable Pics

I don’t get the pictures of a man’s anatomy, I get a picture of the bus timetable and the question “Which bus/tram will you be on?” He usually has an appointment at his local pub at some point so he needs to plan accordingly. In fact this dinosaur usually wants me to meet him at his usual watering hole so he doesn’t have to move out of his habitat. Which puts paid to the bit on his profile that says “Will relocate for the right woman.”

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This guy is a bit of  an action man with pics of him running/kayaking/zip-wiring/ climbing mountains so it’s highly likely that he doesn’t have much time for you. Most weekends he’s likely to be cycling, fell walking and maybe camping which puts paid to the bit on his profile that says “Loves to cuddle up on the sofa and watch TV.”

Peter Pan.

Any guy who still looks half decent will be in a last ditch attempt to try and attract the 35 year old that he still thinks he can get. So while you might be getting on great he’s still holding out for the woman who looks and dresses a damn sight better than you and will be at least 20 years younger. He will never settle so don’t waste your time although eventually he’ll probably go and see what Thailand has to offer, and let’s face it, you can’t compete with that.

Egos.

Some men just want to spend the whole date talking about themselves, they won’t want to hear about you and will tell you all about the interesting things they’ve done in their life. At some point they might ask you “So, have you done anything interesting?” You will definitely never see them again when you tell them, especially when it’s a lot more interesting than anything they’ve ever done. What they really want you to say is “Yes, went out twice today. Once to put the rubbish out, and once to the corner shop.”

There are many types of guys and while this is older guys I’m referring to the same might apply to the younger ones. Some things don’t change.

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Fabulous Woman Seeks Pot of Gold.

As part of starting the new year as I mean to go on, this past week has found me messaging guys first instead of waiting for them to message me on the dating sites I use. I’ve done this before and it usually ends in tears…mine. Let’s be honest we’re all shallow creatures, we all look at the profile pictures and then decide if we can be bothered to read the two lines that have laughingly been presented as a profile. and I’m sure it’s the same for guys, but I personally am attracted to anyone who has taken the time and trouble to write a funny profile (as long as it’s not one they’ve nicked from me) so I was on a mission.

A couple of guys I contacted responded and it was going really well with one of them and just as we were about to  decide on when/where to meet up he disappeared. Hopefully not in a puff of smoke, no, I’m hoping it was a bloody cyclone because there is nothing more infuriating than someone deleting their profile just as you’re getting interested. That and someone texting you when you’re actually on your way to meet a date to tell you that they’ve changed their mind. I did text him once to ask what was going on but no reply so I left it. But I think I know why he did it. This particular guy lives quite close to where I used to live and maybe he’s married and it’s a bit too close to home. Maybe. I didn’t recognise him but the odds are I’d know his wife/ex but perhaps he just genuinely changed his mind but whatever reason deleting a profile is a bit extreme.

So, back on the treadmill and after a few messages back and forth with what I thought seemed a nice guy we swapped numbers and I got a text asking me a couple of questions that I knew we’d covered, so I went to look at our conversation on the site before I replied and lo and behold, his profile had gone. I text back, “Your profile seems to have been deleted.Any ideas?” “Oh yeah, I dropped my phone and lost loads of stuff but when am I coming round for tea?”  Hmm…don’t buy that one but I replied.”You’re not coming round I’m afraid but I’ll be happy to meet you for a drink.”  And guess what, no reply.

On twitter there are loads of dating experts, and while they offer good advice there’s only you yourself can say yay or nay to what a guy has to offer.  Sometimes you have to be pro-active in this dating game so while it’s always nice to get messages they ‘re sometimes not from any one suitable. One guy who has messaged has actually put on his profile in response to the question “Do you have any children?” with the reply “Prefer not to say.”  Yep that’s sounding like a keeper to me. So the search goes on…at this rate it might be easier to find the pair of jeans that got swiped off the washing line in 1976.

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