So Here’s To You Mrs Robinson

On Monday evening I had a chat with a journalist who was looking for older women to talk about sex in later life. I’d explained that I couldn’t really answer that as I was having trouble persuading guys to meet up for a coffee in Manchester, never mind anyone’s bedroom. “That’s ok, we can talk about love, libido and desires.” So that’s what we talked about and after having a photo shoot done on Wednesday morning, the article was featured in the Femail section of the Daily Mail on Thursday, not only using myself but other ladies who seemed to be rather enjoying themselves in later life and who can blame them. It’s probably one of the last taboos that older people still have sex but look at this way if everyone thinks in their head that they’re younger than they actually are, it should be no surprise.

What any older woman who’s online dating will tell you though is that they receive LOTS of messages and attention from much younger guys. Guys in their 20’s who say that they can promise you a good time, have fun with, but who I think are looking for their “Mrs Robinson moment”. Nothing wrong with that and as anyone will tell you, if you’ve come out of a long term relationship/marriage with low self esteem and no confidence, of course it’s flattering to have some attention, even if it’s from guys who are young enough to be your son. That’s not for me I’m afraid but if you’re looking for some no strings attached sex, this is the perfect solution for some women. Hopefully it is just sex they’re after and not your money, although you only have to read one of the weekly “real stories” magazines to see how many women fall into the trap of believing everything they’re told. I’m sorry Mary/Sheila/Joan but you must have guessed at some point that your 25 year old Turkish waiter wasn’t really interested in you or your ageing body, especially when they mentioned marriage. No? Not even when they told you that they had a family to support so maybe you could sell your house as you seem to have no savings left. That while you’re counting down the days and hours until you see each other again, could you possibly send some money over as the deposit has to be paid on your new love nest that you’ll be sharing with his family. Or his cousin’s getting married and he said he’d pay/he and his family are moving to new premises with the family business/he wants to organise the biggest and best wedding for you as he loves you so much. Just send the money and everything will be fine.

As much as I’d like to feel sorry for these women a part of me thinks, how could you be so stupid? But then I have to remember I’ve been online dating a while which means I’m more street wise, can pick up clues and can spot a scammer a mile off. At the same time though it’s probably safe to say that most of the young guys who message us really do want that moment that was shown on the silver screen 48 years ago.

So here’s to you Mrs Robinson.

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A Red Letter Week

Not going to lie I’ve had a really good week and even though I was working over the bank holiday weekend it didn’t really dampen the good mood I’ve been in. Twitter (of course) was at the start of it when after a bit of banter with the lovely author Amanda Prowse she then cast her eyes over a couple of blog posts and let me know that she liked it, a brilliant start to Monday morning as far as I was concerned.

Tuesday I knew that the new edition of Woman magazine which was about to hit the shelves, had a two page feature of yours truly in it so I was really excited about that. As well as a photo there was a bit of a dating diary to give an idea of what it’s really like to be dating over 50. A lot of people at work were really nice about it and pointed out that it was a lovely photo that made me look a lot better than I usually look. I should hope so, it took the talented lady who did my hair and make up absolutely ages to produce the end result and I loved it. Having said that she usually does the make up for some of the young “Coronation Street” stars when it’s a red carpet event and I certainly didn’t look as good as them but it’s only make up, not magic, or maybe it’s the 30 years plus between us?  Let’s just say that on that particular day, Sally Rowe made me look and feel a million dollars.

Wednesday I caught up with Richard my housemate after we both got home late that night and he admitted that he’s really fallen for his new boyfriend who he’s been seeing for a couple of weeks. I know I know, only a couple of weeks but his fella has been staying over at weekend and as I have a prime ringside seat I have watched this romance from day one. I’ve watched my housemate get giddy when he comes off the phone from talking with this guy, showing me (the same) pics of him and asking “Is he fit?” He is Richard, he is but I like the fact that this guy makes you so happy, makes you put your pinny on and cook meals from scratch for him, makes you wait impatiently for weekend so that you can spend time together and plan trips away/holidays/when to tell respective families that you are now an item. I like the fact that your new boyfriend makes you feel special, makes you catch your breath, your heart flutter, makes you nervous and all the other things that people feel when they’re in love. I love that you have found this and I’m just the tiniest bit envious.

As much as I am dating I am not looking for “the one”. The men in my age group have been married a couple of times and I think it’s safe to say that (hopefully) we’re all realistic enough to know that there is more than one person in this world who would make us happy. To project all our hopes and dreams onto one person is too much pressure, by now, especially at my age, we should have maybe realised that if we can find someone who we can relate to, laugh with, make plans with and all the rest we are lucky. That doesn’t mean I’ll lower my standards by any means, I don’t want to sit in every night and “watch a film and cuddle on the sofa” or hold hands walking to the corner shop while he gets his beer and fags, but the pool I’m fishing in is a lot smaller than anyone else’s, I do know that.

What I do know is that it’s highly unlikely I will find someone who sets my soul on fire and I’ve accepted that. I don’t like it, but I’ve accepted it. So when I see the two love birds cast knowing glances at each other, a caress from one to the other as they brush past each other, a private joke, an impromptu romantic night away in a hotel, as much as I love seeing them together, it’s a reminder of days gone by for me.

My life’s not over by any means but I’m pretty sure the romance is.

Good job I’ve got a good memory.

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Queen For A Day.

Usually on a day off during the week I do a lot of running around, maybe meeting up with a friend for lunch, or doing a bit for a local TV station or doing a bit of shopping. This week though was a bit different.This week I got to do a photo shoot for a women’s magazine and for a day I felt like a celebrity.

A lot of older women are dating and using online dating sites, but maybe not many are blogging about it so this is what the feature is going to be about (if they use it) so I was really excited to be having pictures taken to be used with the feature. But not only a photographer, a stylist and make up artist as well were involved so I was hoping to get some tips as it’s too easy to get in a rut with clothes and make up when you get older. We’d arranged to meet at one of the bars in the Northern Quarter of Manchester and although I was the first to arrive I didn’t have to wait long before the other three ladies turned up. As they all wheeled their cases in full of makeup, clothes and equipment I did start to panic a bit, thinking “This can’t be for me.”  I only do a bit of writing, nothing special, they must think I do a lot more than I actually do, but now it was too late. The stylist brought out a few outfits and I went and tried them on while the others were setting up. Then it was time for hair and makeup and I must admit I loved the end result, with no sign of any black eyeliner to be seen.

Having photos taken believe it or not, is hard work. There’s a lot of direction, “Can you just move here, turn your face there, yep that’s it.” Hard work but I loved it. I liked this version of myself which is different to how I usually look, wearing clothes I would never have considered buying, (but now I will) and for a couple of hours I felt like a celeb. The weird thing was though while all this was going on people were coming into the bar for lunch and it was obvious that some of them were looking and thinking “But who is it?” Who is it indeed. Just a normal, older woman who is  trying to tell others who are in their 50’s/60’s that life doesn’t end when you get to our age, we can probably still teach the younger ones a thing or two, because we’ve all learned our lessons to get here.

When the shoot was over I spent the rest of the day with my two kids, (a rare occurrence of all three of us together) so any signs of any diva behaviour from me would soon be shot down by those two.

So that was this week’s day off, one that will be hard to beat unless it involves Tom Hardy of course.

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