Deluded.

Being the hardened, cynical serial dater that I am, I like to think that I can spot a scammer a mile off, but apparently not everyone can read between the lines. This past week has seen quite a few on one particular dating site that I use and they all use the same template, in that they are a General in the United States Army, have pets, and state that religion is very important to them. One photo of course (which won’t be them) and a beautifully written profile in perfect English that goes out of the window when you actually exchange messages. Like I say, I can spot ’em a mile off but it does seem that women of a certain age get sucked in after I heard a story this week that involved a woman buying a holiday for the two of them (thinking he was going to pay) and only hearing alarm bells when he said he needed a short term loan. A holiday with a guy she’d never met, who lives in America but works in Dubai, who apparently earned mega bucks, what was she thinking? He never turned up for the holiday by the way.

These deluded women are also the type who write to guys on death row. Women who should know better who’ve been married (maybe more than once) had relationships, and maybe feel that it gets harder to find someone when you get older, thinking that their best years are behind them, maybe they’ve lost a lot of confidence and so any guy who pays them a bit of attention is latched on to. I get it, I really do, but hopefully common sense would kick in at some point instead of deluding themselves into thinking that they  have now found their soulmate in a man who’s murdered someone, living thousands of miles away with a cat in hell’s chance of getting out of prison alive.

Oh the romance.

And that’s exactly it. Getting involved with someone on death row means he’ll never cheat, you know exactly where he is at all times and it’s all hearts and flowers  as there’s going to be a limited time on this relationship. It’s all high drama, saving like mad to get over to Texas to see the guy you’ve sent a thousand letters to, had a thousand phone conversations with, and who will always be innocent of the heinous crime that he’s actually on death row for. “They don’t know my Jimmy like I do. He’d never hurt a fly”. But he did. In fact he did a lot more than that but let’s not let the truth get in the way of a good Mills&Boon romance because that will spoil everything. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted because it’s not real. Running around with a placard protesting his innocence will not change anything, will not make anyone revoke his death sentence, will not make the families of the victims forgive and forget, but you know this. Because really, you don’t want him to be found innocent and become a free man, the attraction for these women is the fact it’s not a real relationship, it’s going nowhere and they can be a death row widow and pretend that they have lost the love of their life.

Deluded much.

Maybe that’s it. Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong, I should be writing to “One eared Frank” in Strangeways asking him where he stashed the bottles of vodka he nicked from a supermarket (565th offence) and promising him I’ll take him for a breakfast at McDonalds when he gets out. But I’ll be refusing to go on the precinct with him, a girl has to have some standards.

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A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

One of the downsides of getting older is that sometimes you can lose your confidence a bit. You’re not as cocky as you were in your twenties, and while you’ve probably learned a couple of hard lessons along the way, sometimes you still might not trust your own judgement where men are concerned, especially if you don’t like being alone.

Older single women over 50 are likely to be divorced or widowed, and as some might not like being alone, maybe they are feeling vulnerable, overlooked for younger, prettier, funnier counterparts, and this makes these women a prime target for a certain predator. Enter stage right a well dressed, attentive, attractive older gentleman who will at the very least try to empty your bank account. These men are really good at what they do make no mistake. They prey on a woman’s vulnerability and before long they’ve made themselves indispensable while making sure that they are behaving like the perfect gentleman. An older woman has usually got some money from a divorce settlement/being widowed and might even have her house paid off after years of hard work. If kids are still living at home you can bet this guy will do his best to try to make them leave.

You’ll find that you don’t really get to drive your car anymore as your new friend is offering to run you anywhere you’d like to go, and let’s face it, it’s nice having a chauffeur except he seems to like using your car for his own convenience. Holidays get mentioned and before long you’ve booked a cruise with your new friend but he seems to be taking his time in paying you back the money you’ve just spent which includes the upgrade that he insisted on. He might even ask for a loan to help him out until he’s sorted out the problem of moving his money around, all the while acting like he has some. The real danger though is when property becomes involved and lots of women get convinced it would be a really good idea to have the guy’s name on the deeds, “just in case”.

And let’s not forget the online dating scammers. These will bombard you with all the things you want to hear until before long you’re sending money, which runs into thousands. Older women who should know better believing every single thing they’re being told because they’re lonely. Older women signing away their home, their kid’s inheritance, to a shallow, scheming man who doesn’t care he’s going to leave you heartbroken, penniless, and won’t care that you will probably never trust another person ever again.

I personally haven’t come across one yet. I do know though of at least five people this has happened to and I’m waiting for the day when it might be my turn. As well as my middle name being “Cynical” I can’t wait to tell them that I don’t even own a set of pans for god’s sake.

Watch `em run a mile.

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