This week`s Beauties…..

Reading through messages is a bit like wading through water. I always go and look at the profile of every single message I recieve to try and find out a bit more of the person who`s sent it…..and usually disappointed. One guy this week, “D” sent a message with no picture so I took a quick look and this is what is on his profile.”Firstly I deleted my photo because sadly I don`t resemble Pierce Brosnan, or any other hunky fooker that you shallow, sad old broads imagine in yer dreams would be interested in you. I live alone, I`ve no family, hangers-on or any other baggage unlike most of you women have burdening you.If you find me of interest (not very likely I know) but then you`re not really interesting yourself. Try to get motivated to write, be honest, tell me what you`re looking for. We could swap a few messages and see what happens. So make an effort for once, nothing good will ever happen if you don`t.Furthermore, take a look in the mirror darlin` but put your glasses on this time cos the sixty quid a month you`ve been spending on face ointment for the past 30 years didn`t work.”…….so I replied and he sent me a photo of himself which wasn`t half as bad as I`d been expecting. So I asked him where in Manchester he lived and this is what I got back….”Why do you want to know? I`m a bit paranoid of getting involved with anyone so I`d rather not say”….and no I didn`t even bother replying to that. Seriously what is the point? But then I had a message from”K” ….
“Hi! Check out my profile I`m sure we`d get on!”….so I did and to be fair he looked like a nice happy guy with red hair (not my usual type but as we all know hair is a bonus!) and a few years younger. A couple of messsages later he`s told me he`s very involved in amateur dramatics and wouldn`t be able to meet this weekend as he had an audition for a musical and one for a stage version of “The Full Monty”.That`s ok, no rush but it soon became clear that having spare time was something K had very little of and to be fair it was also becoming clear that it`s all about K. “I`m in Oklahoma! this week Wednesday to Saturday why don`t you come and see me? It`s in Bolton, tickets cost £11 but well worth it.Bring a friend and I`ll have a post-show drink with you to say thanks for coming! Wednesday`s fully booked though…” Hang on a minute K….you got in touch with me remember! Do you honestly think I`m getting on the train to Bolton, paying £11 for a ticket to watch a total stranger who clearly has a massive ego? And you`ll have a drink with me to say thanks for coming?? Err….no. Having made my excuses as to why I couldn`t go doesn`t seem to deter him. “Just going into make-up!”…..”Even got a matinee on Saturday”  Not that this makes any difference to meeting up because had he bothered to ask he would know I work on Saturdays…….I`ll bet Michael Ball is quaking in his shoes….there`s a pretender to his throne!!
And then we have “W”. “Hi! I see that one of your pics is taken outside one of the bars on Deansgate!” Checking the profile and yes he seemed ok.Another message.”I know my bars! Would love to take you out but don`t get paid until 2 weeks on Friday. Skint because I have to pay CSA but only for the next couple of years hun.”  Right, get in touch in a couple of years then eh? I`ll probably still be on here …”sigh”…